The Gospel according to Cyclic rate.

You must go read this! Its absolutely hysterical. And, of course, I want to be a member. Its only proper since I live just a couple miles from St John's home and I've already visited the shrine of his honest-to-goodness, workshop which is almost directly west of me in the Union-Pacific Station museum. Here's some highlights but go read the whole thing. And make sure to see the comments too! Thanks To Kevin at Smallest Minority for pointing me to it.

For, in the beginning, God did give a great gift upon Saint John Moses, and He said unto him:
"Go, John Moses, and create what I have designed for you to create. Create Holy Artifacts for the just and righteous to carry by their side, so that they shall not fear wherever they roam for all the days of their lives."

I've gotta get me one of those artifacts just as soon as I can...